So I believe that I was out there for a reason and I feel that the Lord has guided me back here for a reason. So why do I feel like I did before I moved? I am so happy to be back here but sometimes I want to just crawl under my covers and never come out again. I know though that I cannot do that. I was jealous of Mary I guess you could say because it was so easy for her to just go get the old job back that she had, but I have to go through a process to get my job back. I know I am supposed to be here and God will give me job, but sometimes I just feel like I am at wit's end here.
People tell me that someone will want to make me feel that the Lord doesn't love me and that I cannot depend on him. But I know this is not the case because he has provided for me and many times I have trusted in him more than anything. I know that sometimes it makes me think that I will never be able to believe the way that I want to. All I can do is trust in him from day to day and live for him each day.
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