Fustrated

I currently am running into the problem that I cannot find my degree anywhere. I have no clue where it could be because the place that I know I put it it is not there. I am 100 percent sure that I put it there and didn't move it, but when I went to go look for it a few minutes ago it was not there. I seem to think that maybe just maybe it slipped out of y portfolio when I was taking it to the car. I hope that it is there somewhere because many times I just get aggravated and cannot seem to remember what happens.

I know that I will be able to get a new one but getting a duplicate copy costs money that I currently don't have at the moment so I am a little overwhelmed as to what I should do and how I should go about it. I know though that the lord is on my side and everything will work out for the best.

Today

So I believe that I was out there for a reason and I feel that the Lord has guided me back here for a reason. So why do I feel like I did before I moved? I am so happy to be back here but sometimes I want to just crawl under my covers and never come out again. I know though that I cannot do that. I was jealous of Mary I guess you could say because it was so easy for her to just go get the old job back that she had, but I have to go through a process to get my job back. I know I am supposed to be here and God will give me job, but sometimes I just feel like I am at wit's end here.

People tell me that someone will want to make me feel that the Lord doesn't love me and that I cannot depend on him. But I know this is not the case because he has provided for me and many times I have trusted in him more than anything. I know that sometimes it makes me think that I will never be able to believe the way that I want to. All I can do is trust in him from day to day and live for him each day.

Life

I have been living in Oklahoma for the past five months and I hate it. I have not worked in over a month and I am a little concerned about how I am going to pay the rent that is due in a couple weeks and pay the other bills that are due around the same time. I am being offered two jobs back in Tucson so I am heading back in the direction of Arizona as soon as I can. I even thought about letting them take my bed in order to pay for the rent money that I have because the bed itself is worth over $100. I know that I will be able to head back when the Lord says it's time but I want that to be right now so badly.